who cares

you can read this. i want you to.

I've been driving around at unreasonably high speeds with all the windows dow, sunroof open, blasting two princes by the spin doctors, and janes addiction.  this, i believe, is the best and only way to get in the correct mood for summer.  i'm so happy right now.  my life is about to start.  i feel like i'm about to be born in two weeks, or something.  and i will not miss this place.  i was was walking around at school, wondering at how there is absolutely nothing there for me.  the place is pregnant with stagnancy.  i won't miss it.  nothing about it, nothing.  i love how disconnected i am.  i've come to appreciate it.  had i ever actually made any friends, i might have been tied there.  i don't ever want to be tied to anyone again.  i want to be full of everything, experience everything, go anywhere.  college is just like, a tiny little step.  the first little step towards my life.  but it's coming.  four years is nothing. . .  i feel so young and, ready. 

i walk around barefoot most everywhere, as is my summer tradition, and i'm letting myself enjoy the sun like i never could before.  it used to be always rain for me, i hated the sun.  loathed it, what it did to people.  and here i am, shorts and sandals and i wasnt to go swimming and have picknicks and be in love.  and i love it.  i love being happy.  i've spent so long being crazy, i'm ready to be okay now.  i'm ready to stop being peranoid and depressed.  i'm ready to be done with my rediculously omnipresent ocd.  i'm so ready.  and it feels good.  i feel like i could do anything.  i should go skydiving.  i need to go practice my trombone.

posted by: monsoon at 08:23 | link | comments |

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